Snoring Man

Movie #37 of the year, Safety Not Guaranteed.
There have been times when I have fallen asleep during movies. Sometimes in college when we had screenings at the end of the day (Monday no less) and I would doze off somewhere in the middle of the movie, before waking up moments later. Or there was the time my friend wanted to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, the end of the trilogy that I had not seen nor cared to see. Somehow I fell asleep during the deafening Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen — proving that special effects and obnoxiously loud explosions don’t qualify as entertainment. As frequently as I have fallen asleep during movies (not so much in the last few years) never have I  fallen asleep when seeing a movie in the morning. And never have I snored.
This morning, two-thirds of the way through the thoroughly-enjoyable movie, I heard the sounds of someone sleeping. Not quite snoring yet, just heavy breathing. It was loud enough that I could identify it coming from the bald old man in the row ahead of me, just one seat over (he also couldn’t figure out assigned seating and instead waited until the movie started to take an empty seat.)  The movie got a little bit louder and I thought maybe he woke up, but during the next moment when no one was speaking there was a loud snore. And another one. And another. People in the audience started laughing —  not at the movie, but at this snoring man. I tried kicking the back of the seat, but the popcorn-hungry chick sitting next to me blocked me with her redwood stumps. Fortunately, a man in the front row was kind of enough to get out of his seat and wake the snoring man by shaking his foot. The man, shaken, was clearly embarrassed — which apparently kept him awake for the remainder of the movie.


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